Tips To Build Solid Relationship

The whole world is about people and how you bond to them. They will never remember what and how you achieved great things but they will always remember how you made them feel. So be sure to make them feel good most of the time and they will capture your heart. Starting near about you, how do you behave with the people encircling you? Let’s dive into this discussion. Read on to find out.

Starting with your own family, how do you react towards them? Are you pissed off or lighthearted? If you are ill-tempered, you have something to work on. You need to cool down and then start talking to your family members. You need to behave well, especially for your children because they are picking up cues from you all the time. You don’t want them to grow up to ill-tempered and non-sensible adults.

After getting out of your home, you will meet the doorman and probably the gardener. Say hello to them cheerfully and smile. Immediately you bond a relationship with them – that also a meaningful and promising one.

When you go to the supermarket, you will probably meet some known or unknown faces. Smile and talk cheerfully, draw up on your credit card and pull the cart away to avoid chaos. If you meet friends there, be sure to strike a lovely, short conversation and be back home or some other place on your agenda.

Wherever you meet people, make eye contact and smile. They will smile back and you will bond together positively.

As for me, I frequently visit confectionery, stationery and pharmacy shops near my home. All the people in there have come to know me. I am always cheerful and have bonded positively with them. So they take care to hand over their best products and never cheat on me. So bonding with the people you see every day has an upside.

I recently visited my aunt who lives a long distance away from our home. Last time I visited her, we struck a lively and jolly conversation. At the end she handed me a big deep blue decorative bag as a gift which I still use today for grocery shopping. Presently when I visited her, I gave her a bangles set bought from U.S and she loved them. All her three daughters are staying abroad and so when I visit her, I fill up some space in her heart and she treats me like her daughter.

There are examples of people like this everywhere in our lives. We just need to know how to connect to them positively. You never know who you will come to need in a time of crisis or danger. So remember to smile at people and bond gracefully and above all, make them feel good in a way they will love and remember you.

The Reason You Feel Emotionally With Your Parents

In today’s world, it is not uncommon for someone to say that they need to be with another person in order to feel complete. Yet, even if they don’t say this explicitly, their behaviour could say this implicitly.

Popular Culture

When it comes to films, music and TV shows, this is a theme that is often played out in one way or another. Someone is then not a whole human being; they are missing part of themselves.

And the part that they need is to be found in another person, which is why they will need to find the right person. At the same time, there is also another dynamic that is common, and this is where someone comes across as though they are needless.

One Extreme to the other

This person can create the impression that they are their own island and that they don’t need anyone. So, unlike the person who is needy, they will present themselves as being strong and capable.

Nevertheless, although this person can appear to be more evolved than the other person, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case. In reality, it could be a sign that they feel ashamed of their own needs.

A Strong Need

With that aside, if someone doesn’t feel whole it is going to be normal for them to look for another person to complete them. Also, this could be seen as the truth as opposed to something that they believe.

If they are single, then, a lot of their energy is likely to be directed towards finding someone to be with. From the outside, it could be as if they are a child who has been left by their parents.

A Struggle

This person might still be able to go to work and function relatively well, but it doesn’t mean that they will be able to perform at their best. Their need to be with someone could still consume their mind.

Alternatively, one might not be able to function unless they are with someone. This is likely to give them an even greater need to find someone to be with.

Another Experience

Conversely, one might do everything they can to make sure that they don’t end up by themselves, when a relationship comes to an end. Thus, even if one is in a relationship, they could have a number of other people on the sidelines.

Or, they could start seeing someone else before the relationship they are in comes to end. In general, this will stop them from having to experience too much pain.

The One

When they meet someone who they are attracted to, the experience they have could be similar to how a child feels when one of their parents appear (that is if this parent treats the child well, of course). Up until this point they may have felt empty, but now they will probably feel complete.

What will play a big part here will be brain chemicals that are released during this time, with these chemicals making them feel as though they have been taken to another planet. One could then come to believe that they are in love.

Separation Anxiety

As a result of this, there is a strong chance that one will find it hard to spend time away from this person. When they are with them everything could seem perfect, but when they are away from them, they could be overwhelmed by fear and anxiety.

Due to this, it might not take long before they move in with the other person, or until the other person moves in with them. And as they come across as needy and weak, the person they are with will probably come across as strong and powerful.

The Centre of Their World

One is going to feel like an empty human being, and this is why they are dependent on someone else. Their happiness, safely and survival will be seen as something that is in their partners hands.

It can be hard to comprehend why the other person would be interested in someone who is so needy and dependent, yet they are also likely to find it hard to be by themselves. The image that they present to the world – of being strong and having it all together – is likely to hide how weak and vulnerable they feel on the inside.

What’s going on?

One way of looking at this would be to say that it is love; another way of looking at it would be to say that this is what happens when someone is carrying trauma. This trauma is going to be what is stopping them from feeling like a while human being.

The reason they are carrying trauma is likely to be due to what took place when they were growing up. At this time in their life, they may have been abused and/or neglected, and this would have stopped them from getting what they needed to develop in the right way.


The parts of themselves that they haven’t realised end up being displaced onto the people they end up with. One then looks like an adult, but they view other people through the eyes of the wounded child that is within them.

If one received the care that they needed as a child, they would feel like an interdependent human being. But as this didn’t take place, and they haven’t worked through the trauma within them, they feel like a dependent child.


If one can relate to this, and they want to embrace their inherent wholeness, they may need to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

How To Fulfill Your Demand

THE question is rhetorical. Of course, we cannot give to another that which we demand for ourselves.

Yet, so many relationships are pitched this way: you give me what I want (read: demand) and then I will give you what you want.

It is insanity, and if only both parties could take a step back and have an objective look as a third person would, they would know.

The conditionality of such a statement – you give me what I demand and then I will give you what you want – means no one is going to get what they want.

Either both win, or both lose, and nobody can win if one party refuses to soften their stance. And yet, it takes just one party to begin the heart-softening process, full of the spirit of humility (otherness). And such true softening is a stance that stays there. (It’s not a fleeting thing. A soft heart stays soft. But, in truth, most relationships need outside help when hearts are hard.)

Relationships never prosper when only one party gives all the time, and yet, when there is quarrelling, both parties mirror each other, saying – “I’m the one giving and giving and giving, all they do is take, take, take.” How can this be the true reality when the other person is saying basically the same thing? Ask any relationship counsellor, they’ll say this is common. It is infuriating for everyone, certainly most when you’re one of the parties to the conflict – “How can they say that?!” It just creates more derision.

So, who is right? If one is right, so is the other. If one is wrong, so is the other. So we’re advised to break past the thinking, “I’m right, you’re wrong.” The relationship can only tear apart if that attitude is sustained.

From their own view only, each party is right. But God’s truth works on the axis of reality, which is real from all viewpoints: all truth, one side of the truth in truthful tension with the other side of the truth.

We can only begin to see God’s truth in the vista of reality when we intentionally land in the other person’s shoes and commit to staying there. Only then will there be viability to the blessed hope of reconciliation.

Secrets For Couples

This is the second post on my HUMANOLOGY FOR COUPLES series. Many people ask me how relationships should be handled so they can remain solid and stable. These posts offer you some ideas and tips that I hope will help you understand some of the important aspects involved in relationships.

When human beings are born, they are born without beliefs. Beliefs are deduced from the experiences they then start having: from what they see, hear or live. Thus, many of the beliefs that a human being has stem from childhood, from the person’s environment and from their families. For example, having grown up in Spain, loud voices were the common thing and quite accepted; but when I lived in Russia, loud voices were considered very rude.

All human beings need beliefs. They constitute our foundations and lead each of us into seeing the world the way we see it. Strong beliefs represent solid foundations. Questioning beliefs results in uncertainty, insecurity and doubt. Beliefs exist in every field of life and can be grouped into different basic topics: The beliefs a human being has lead him or her to see the world a certain way. Some of those beliefs, we’re not even aware of; in time, they become subconscious and we just assume that the world is the way we happen to see it. We internalize them so much that they become the normal thing. Then, when relationships are established, the set of personal, religious, social, cultural and other beliefs that each partner has will affect the way in which the relationship is approached and maintained. So, if one of the partners believes that free, open relationships are the only way to go and the other partner’s beliefs are that only complete devotion to the other is the right approach, they will sooner or later encounter difficulties.

  • Family beliefs: the ones shared by the family members
  • Social beliefs: the ones shared by the social class and social group that we grow up in or live in
  • Religious beliefs: the ones derived from the religion we are taught at home or at school
  • Cultural beliefs: the ones derived from our national or ethnic environment
  • and many others

When beliefs are not obvious, some people just neglect them and move on. This results in unsolved issues within couples.For a couple to be strong and balanced, each partner should know his or her beliefs and share them with the other, in an attempt to make understanding easier. Knowing what your partner believes, even if different from your own beliefs, will help you understand their position and opinions. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner will be convinced by your beliefs or by what you’re sharing. But understanding where you’re coming from is a first step in the direction of shared growth.

How can you know what beliefs you have, if some of them are subconscious? I recommend the following, very simple exercise, that can be done individually and its results, or some of them, then shared with others.

For a couple of weeks, carry a small notebook and pen with you wherever you go. You can also use your recording system on your phone. Every time you hear yourself say anything that begins with any of the following phrases: write whatever it is that you said on your notebook. You can also note down all your thoughts beginning with those phrases. After two weeks, go over your notes. They will represent many, if not most, of your beliefs.

  • I think that…
  • I believe that…
  • I suppose that…
  • I can/can’t…
  • I should/shouldn’t…
  • and similar ones,

Once you know what you believe, feel free to share that information with your partner. Try and find where your beliefs are different. Don’t question them, though. As a first step, just acknowledge your beliefs and your partner’s beliefs. Understanding how we see the world is a big step forward in human growth. Understanding how your partner sees it can help you explain why the two of you sometimes clash so much.Based on your discovered beliefs then ask yourself: how do I expect myself to behave in relationship? What do I think is the “right” behavior? What do I expect my partner’s behavior to be like? How does his/her behavior differ from my expectations? Can I live with that difference and accept that my partner is behaving the way he/she thinks is correct based on his/her own beliefs? How do I behave that clashes against what my partner expects from me? Can my partner live with the difference between what is expected and my real behavior? The answers to these questions will give you a very clear understanding of where you and your partner are in your relationship.

Most beliefs can’t be changed at will. They require a more complex process. That’s why I’m just recommending that you acknowledge your beliefs and those of your partner and try and work together on acceptance. If you happen to come across a belief in your partner that you can’t live with, you can try and explain your reasons. Your partner can accept them or not. By discussing the beliefs that are limiting your relationship, you might both come to a deeper understanding of each other. That usually is enough to help a relationship move forward.

If it is not, whatever belief is blocking the way, be it yours, be it your partner’s, it won’t just go away. It will constantly create friction. Being aware of this is also very important. Once you know it, you will both have to decide what else you’d like to do. At that point, the help of a humanologist can be very useful. The work we do includes helping other human beings identify, question and change beliefs of all types.

So, work on your beliefs while your partner works on his or hers. Then discuss them. That might just do the trick. If you discover that you’re still truly stuck, contact your humanologist to get some help. After all, beliefs are personal and not that easy to handle

Meanwhile, remember to enjoy life… ALL of it,

When Guy Good At Approach To Woman

Towards the end of 2007, I started to look for information on how to improve my success with women. After I had been reading about self-development for quite some time, this seemed like the next step.

During this time, I heard about a community that existed to help men improve with women. If I remember rightly, I heard about this community indirectly through what was mentioned in another book.

The Next Step

I ended up singing up to do one day of a boot camp, and this was a fascinating experience. Certain parts tested me, while there were other parts that made me wonder what was going on.

The reason for this was that the right amount of guidance wasn’t always provided; at times, it was as though certain trainers were just as lost as the students. There was one trainer who really stood out, though.

The Real Deal

When we were all ‘out in the field’, this guy was like some kind of army general. He wasn’t there to waste time or to watch students stand around; he was there to make sure that they approached women.

However, he wasn’t just standing around waiting for students to do this, as he was only too happy to show them how to do it. He was training other students, so I saw this from afar.

A Mixed Response

On one side, I felt a bit intimated by him, and, on another, I wanted to find out more about him. I remember complimenting him on the long red jacket that he wore, and this was before I started to wear read.

I soon found out that his name was Richard, and it wasn’t long before out paths crossed again. Through spending time with him, I came to see that he would approach women absolutely anywhere – nothing fazed him.

It Was Always On

It didn’t matter if he was on the tube, a bus, a train, in a shop or walking around a populated area, as he would comfortably talk to women. He made it all look so easy and effortless.

There is one moment that comes to mind that shows how good he was at approaching women and taking things further. There was a time when he approached a woman at a train station and it wasn’t long before he was kissing the same women.

A Different Outlook

In a way, it was as though he had some kind of super power. Still, through getting to know him, I found out that he hadn’t always been this way and that he had done thousands and thousands of approaches to get to this level.

I wanted to find out more about him as a person; I didn’t see him as someone who was there to fill my needs. I think that this was one of the main reasons why we became friends; whereas it was normal for other people to see him as someone who was purely there to help them with women.

Final Thoughts

I treated him in the same way that I treated my other friends. There is no doubting how much of an effect Richard had on my life; there was what he showed me directly and there was what I learned through simply being around him.

Through growing up in guest house my conversational skills were fairly developed, but approaching women was all new to me. This was then a time when I could improve on what I had already developed.

Doing Comparisons Necessary Way

THERE is one comparison with others we should be making, for our gratitude, to grow in compassion, to train ourselves to see more like God, for our own good. And ultimately for others’ good too.

Have you noticed what happens when you compare yourself with those doing better than you? It has likely made you feel empty and envious. It has probably challenged your self-confidence and self-concept. It has made you less grateful for your life and what you have than you ought to feel.

Have you ever tried comparing with others in the opposite direction? – to compare with those down on their luck compared with you; those less fortunate; those who were born in and live in less materially rich regions of the world; those who have suffered disease and loss and addiction in their families.

When we compare with others we see doing better than us, we end up disappointed. When we compare ourselves with more favourable seasons of past, we end up gloomy. But when we compare with others who aren’t doing so well, we begin to feel two things: grateful for what we have, and we feel empathy for what they don’t have. We certainly shouldn’t feel superior, for the fortunes of life are fickle.

Two opportunities present for us as our awareness of our comparative blessedness increases:

1. Our gratitude blossoms into joy, because the more we engage in this way of seeing, the more we see the little things we have that others don’t. We enjoy these things more, and we even consider how we might spread the enjoyment we experience to others.

2. With empathy our character grows in compassion. We feel genuine sadness for what others don’t have, and we may begin to pray for them, and even provide for them, which we understand we need to do in dignifying ways.

Compare not with those who seem better off, but with those who are worse off.

Compare with those doing better and we feel envious, but compare with those undergoing hardship and we feel empathy.

Understanding Human Relationship

Human relations are complex and beautiful. Though people and their behavior is unpredictable yet they bring happiness most of the time in our life. We cherish the memories with our people and they certainly make our life worth living.

Our whole life directly or indirectly revolves around people from our birth till our last breath.

Human beings are the biggest source and contributor of energy, learning, affection, inspiration, recreation and communication for everyone. That’s why they are referred as “social beings”. Therefore, we can easily say that all our wants, needs, dreams and desires get fulfilled by people around us. Thus, we study, play, joke, talk, eat, work, ride, enjoy, party or go out with our friends, companions, colleagues, class mates, acquaintances, cousins, family. These people could subsequently become our teacher, mentor, guide, coach and philosopher at some point of time.

From times immemorial till this era of Millennium, nothing has really changed when talk about our social preferences. We are constantly engaging with people, thereby spending a significant amount of time with them on daily basis. And without any doubt, our “near and dear” ones are incredibly with us during our good and bad times. Further, let me take pride in saying that we celebrate all festivals, joyous moments, birthday celebrations enthusiastically with our lovely people. In short, their sheer presence during crisis situation provides us immense strength to fight any difficult situation or recover from the worst health complications. Thus, they motivate us to give our best even in the most stressful times. It sounds funny but true that even while dreaming, we are most of the time engaging with our people.

If people were so important to all of us, then why the hell do we condemn them or their behavior? Why do we get hurt and hurt them too? Why do we ridicule them by calling these very people complex creatures with unpredictable behavior? Why do we curse them or humiliate them?

To answer the above questions and as per my thought process, we should not generalize a behavior to conclude or form a perception from few unpleasant experiences, situations or interactions.

So, what do we do? The best we could do is to always analyse a situation through “occurrence test of reality” model. This test assesses a person and his character along with measuring his credibility by going through his past record while he had interacted with you some time in the past. Assuming, he has supported you more than fifty per cent of the time in the past. This percentage implies that he is definitely a well-wisher and only last few times, he has not been able to support you. And this change in his behavior last few times could be due to an uncontrolled circumstance at his end. This could also be due to his inability to do so on account of his changing priorities or commitments. So, this change could be a transient phase and might get over soon.

A matured person therefore could at times ignore or forget such a recent behavior than taking it personally and showing his resentment. Least he is expected to do is bitching about that person or feeling shattered with the changed behavior. To put it in a perspective, give this person a benefit of doubt once. And do remember, we as human beings do forget several things on lot of occasions.

Further, let us discuss about another issue observed in most of the relationships. Most often, as our relationship evolves, there is a whole lot of expectation burden surrounding it. As a result, this burden starts bothering our relationship, thus leading to numerous quarrels, misunderstandings and bitter feelings.

A sensible person should minimize his expectations as increasing expectations could turn beautiful relationship into unnecessary trouble. Further, please note reciprocation in any relationship is important but it should not create obstacles in a healthy relationship with boggling expectations.

Few important take away could be: Empathizing with your near and dear ones and extending our support unconditionally can work wonders thereby sowing seeds of a platonic relationship. Another take away is not reacting immediately and aggressively to hated arguments, nasty messages, sensitive points. Keeping it for another time could actually save our relationships from getting ruined for ever.

Further, there could be occasions when you continue to get perturbed by your near and dear ones changing behavior or you experienced his behavior has become negative towards you. In this case, the most preferred thing would be to speak candidly to the concerned person than keeping it within yourself and waiting for a later date in future.

Be precise, transparent and courageous to communicate your feelings. Feel free to elaborate as to how his changing behavior is affecting you.

As a rule, eliminate the scope of any negative feelings, traits and emotions in a relationship. It is not at all advisable being fake, dishonest, hypocrite, suspecting, being possessive, jealous in a healthy relationship.

Respect and value all your relationships. They are an integral part of our life. At the same time, let’s also accept that relationships could go through ups and downs of life. Every single day, you have to invest your time and positive energy for them to evolve and succeed. Being honest always helps in building a robust friendship.

Last but not the least. Remember relationships could become more giving, loving, interesting, fulfilling provided we value them, respect them and work towards nurturing them. Long lasting relationships should be truly progressive than turning regressive and suffocating with time. I love my Life and all the wonderful people who have made my life so beautiful. Relationships in my life have transformed my life miraculously and made my life more livable.

All About Trust And Respect

“Pay attention when people react with anger and hostility to your boundaries. You have found the edge where their respect for you ends.” – Unknown

CONDITIONAL love is the same as conditional respect. In response to safe boundaries some people respond by switching off their respect. Some people think that love and respect are dependent on how they feel. But effective relationships depend on love and respect if trust is to flow.

It’s important to have had some relationships where our boundaries have been treated with disdain. It teaches us the difference between relationships that work for both parties as opposed to those that work for just one person. It’s apparent straight away, that when relationships work for just one person, where there is respect just one way, the end of the relationship as it is needs to be nigh.

Those who disregard our boundaries tend then to get hostile when we enforce them.

There is another offender; one who oversteps the mark, continually forgetting where it was. Can we trust people who are repeat transgressors? Not beyond the realms of possibility, but there’s work to be done. It depends on the person’s heart.

It is good to have the courage to enforce boundaries and to reinforce them by removing trust when respect is denied. How else are they to learn? Why would we enable their bad behaviour? Why would we make that rod for our own back?

The biggest problem with people who will not respect our boundaries is the anxiety that increases in us as we interact with them. That is our heart telling us something: ‘I don’t feel safe here, with this person in this situation.’

So, pay attention when your wishes attract the ire of someone who wishes for you to trust them. Neither trust nor respect work one way. They are always reciprocal. Reasonable people respect boundaries.

How To Know That Someone Really Interested With Us

There could be moments in one’s life when they come into contact with people who don’t act all that interested, whilst there could be others moments when this is not the case. Here, another person could act as though one is the most important person on the planet.

A Gradual Transition

When the former takes place, one could appreciate the attention; then again, it could all depend on who is giving them this amount of attention. If one is attracted to the other person, they might be only too happy for this to continue.

Yet, it might not be long until they start to grow weary of this type of behaviour and just want this person to take a step back. By coming on so strong, it will have gradually caused one to change how they see them.


The amount of interest that his person shows will be too much for them and the last thing that they want to experience in life. This could be a sign that one is used to receiving a lot of attention.

As a result of this, they could be more attracted to someone who is more laid back and doesn’t try too hard. To meet someone like this could intrigue them, making them wonder why they are not acting like other people.

A Common Occurrence

So, if one is used to receiving so much attention and this takes place without them needing to do a lot, there is going to be no reason for them to appreciate attention that is given to them so freely. It is going to be no different to all the goodies that are given to famous athletes – it will have become a normal part of their life.

It is then no longer going to stand out; it will just be something that they have become accustomed to. This is then similar to what happens when one takes the same route to work every day, there will be no need for them to be aware of where they are going.

A Different Response

But if one was to go somewhere else, it would be necessary for them to pay attention to where they are going. In the same way, when one is used to receiving so much attention and they meet someone who doesn’t behave in this manner, it can cause them to take notice as opposed to simply switching off and placing them in the same category as every other person who acted in that way.

However, even if one is used to receiving this amount of attention, there life is not always going to be this way. What this mean is that while one could be fed up with the amount of attention they receive at one point in time, they could be desperate for it at another.

Another Factor

Even if one is used to receiving attention, they could still have moments in their life when they feel down. If this was to take place, this type of attention could be far more appealing, and this could cause them to put their discernment to one side.

An Easy Target

The fact that they are receiving attention could be all that matters; thereby they won’t be too concerned about what this person is like. After a little while, they could see that they have made the right decision.

At the same time, they could soon regret spending time with this person. How they came across at the beginning could be radically different to how they now come across as time has passed.

One Reason

When one comes into contact with someone who acts really interested, regardless of if this is something that happens to them on a regular basis, it could show that the other person simply likes them. There is then going to be no ulterior motive or anything that one needs to be aware of.

If one was to take things further with them, they may find that they are a good march. On the other hand, one might gradually see that there is nothing to keep them together and that it would be better for them to go their separate ways.


But even if one is not used to receiving attention from someone and another person was to act really interested, it could still make them step back and think about what is going on. One could think about how they haven’t really done anything to earn this amount of attention.

If one desperately needed attention, it would probably cause them to overlook this and to go along with it. One would then be ruled by their emotions and this would stop them from being able to think straight.

A Deeper Look

When someone acts really interested for no apparent reason, it could show that they are simply trying to avoid themselves. For example, they could feel emotionally empty or down, and see one as some kind of saviour.

One is then going to be seen as an object or an accessory that they can use to change how they feel about themselves. If they feel as though they have been abandoned, for instance, this can cause them to come on strong and, after they get close, they could feel smothered, which will cause them to pull away.

Two Experiences

It is human nature for someone to only appreciate what they have worked for and to place little, if any value, when something is just given to them. If someone has the tendency to act really interested too soon, this might be something that they need to reflect on.

And if one finds it hard to accept this kind of behaviour, and they don’t know why, this might allow them to understand why this kind of behaviour makes them feel uncomfortable.


If one usually comes on too strong, and they want to change their behaviour, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for external support. This can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

How To Change Woman Thinking

In today’s world, it appears to be perfectly acceptable for a woman in the public eye to bash men. She can say all kinds of things that will basically amount to men being less-than human and worthless, and absolutely nothing will be done.

Now, that’s not to say that both men and women won’t complain about this; what it means is that this kind of behaviour is tolerated by the media and the education system, for instance. If a man viewed women in the same way, there is a strong chance that he wouldn’t be given a platform.

One Big Illusion

One of the things that a woman like this is likely to come out with is that all women are oppressed and all men are oppressive. Without even thinking critically or looking at the facts, the fact that a handful of women are allowed to portray men in this way and get away with it and the same ‘privilege’ is not available to men surely proves otherwise.

It could then be said that women have the freedom to express themselves, whilst men don’t, at least in the western world. Therefore, woman have the ability to say more of less whatever they want, and there are bound to be thousands of women in other parts of the world who are actually oppressed, who would do anything to be able to speak their mind.

Pampered Children

Consequently, while a woman like this can talk about how bad she and other women have it in the west, perhaps their outlook would soon change if they were to travel around the world. This is then similar to a child who complains that they only have one bar of chocolate, when there are millions of children who have never had a piece of chocolate, let alone a bar.

But due to how old the child is and the fact that their brain is still developing, it could be said that this kind of behaviour is excusable. However, when a grown woman behaves like an entitled child – and she has been given a platform – it is going to be a lot harder for some people to tolerate this kind of behaviour.

An Identity

The trouble is that when a woman has a big platform, and her life revolves around bashing men and talking about how oppressed women are, there is going to be no reason for her to change. There will be the criticism that she receives, of course, but there will also be the attention, approval and the resources that are given to her.

So, in the same way that someone can feel lost when their children leave home or when they retire, for instance, a women like this could really struggle if she was to let go of this identity. Nevertheless, due to how she feels and the thoughts that she has, along with her day-to-day experiences, there is going to be no reason for her to change.

The Truth

The kind of experiences that she has with men and what she sees online will back up what she believes. Her experiences can be seen as a sign that what she believes is the truth, as opposed to the fact that her beliefs are defining what she sees.

She is then nothing more than an observer of her reality and plays no part in how she experiences life. With this is mind, it is going to be perfectly normal for her to try to change the world and to make it a better place for women; her need to save women is just an indirect way for her to try to save herself.

One Focus

Ultimately, her mind (like everyone else’s mind) is constantly looking for evidence that supports what she believes, and this will cause her to block out anything that goes against what she believes. Thus, her eyes are only going to allow her to see what her mind wants her to see.

If a woman like this had very little power it wouldn’t be a problem, but the fact that a woman like this can often be found in politics and in the media, for instance, means that they have the ability to disseminate their inner poison far and wide. Due to their own lack of boundaries and the ability to own their own issues, they will try to control others.

The Perfect Arena

The political realm is going to be extremely appealing to woman who feels powerless and is unable to control herself. Her lack of inner control results in her need to control what other people can or can’t do.

Experiencing a sense of control is then going to come at the expense of other people’s freedom. Taking all this into account, the world doesn’t need more people who become part of a movement; what it needs is more people who take responsibility for their own issues.


In order for a woman to realise that not all men are the same, it is going to be necessary for her to change what is going on within her. This means that the external world doesn’t need to change; the only thing that needs to change is her inner world.

If her vision is blurred, it will be clear to her that she needs to look at her eye and not to clean what is going on externally. But while this is clear, what won’t be clear is that trying to change men won’t allow her change what is going on within her.

Personal Responsibility

There is the chance that there have been moments in her life that had a big impact on her, and what happened with a few men (or one man) would have been seen as a sign of what all men were like. Perhaps she was abused by her father or another male figure while she was a child.

This would have been extremely traumatising and, while the years will have passed, what took place all those years ago will still define how she perceives men. At this time, she would have been a victim, but now that she is an adult, the roles have reversed and she is trying to victimise all men.


When it comes to working through this pain and trauma, it is unlikely that she will be able to do it by herself. If she could, there would be no reason for her to avoid this pain and to seek indirect revenge by trying to harm all men for what a few men (or one man) did to her as a child.

This is why the assistance of a therapist or healer will probably be needed her. Through working through her own issues, it will allow her to see that while some men are bad, there are others who are not, and this will allow her to open her heart once again.