When Guy Good At Approach To Woman

Towards the end of 2007, I started to look for information on how to improve my success with women. After I had been reading about self-development for quite some time, this seemed like the next step.

During this time, I heard about a community that existed to help men improve with women. If I remember rightly, I heard about this community indirectly through what was mentioned in another book.

The Next Step

I ended up singing up to do one day of a boot camp, and this was a fascinating experience. Certain parts tested me, while there were other parts that made me wonder what was going on.

The reason for this was that the right amount of guidance wasn’t always provided; at times, it was as though certain trainers were just as lost as the students. There was one trainer who really stood out, though.

The Real Deal

When we were all ‘out in the field’, this guy was like some kind of army general. He wasn’t there to waste time or to watch students stand around; he was there to make sure that they approached women.

However, he wasn’t just standing around waiting for students to do this, as he was only too happy to show them how to do it. He was training other students, so I saw this from afar.

A Mixed Response

On one side, I felt a bit intimated by him, and, on another, I wanted to find out more about him. I remember complimenting him on the long red jacket that he wore, and this was before I started to wear read.

I soon found out that his name was Richard, and it wasn’t long before out paths crossed again. Through spending time with him, I came to see that he would approach women absolutely anywhere – nothing fazed him.

It Was Always On

It didn’t matter if he was on the tube, a bus, a train, in a shop or walking around a populated area, as he would comfortably talk to women. He made it all look so easy and effortless.

There is one moment that comes to mind that shows how good he was at approaching women and taking things further. There was a time when he approached a woman at a train station and it wasn’t long before he was kissing the same women.

A Different Outlook

In a way, it was as though he had some kind of super power. Still, through getting to know him, I found out that he hadn’t always been this way and that he had done thousands and thousands of approaches to get to this level.

I wanted to find out more about him as a person; I didn’t see him as someone who was there to fill my needs. I think that this was one of the main reasons why we became friends; whereas it was normal for other people to see him as someone who was purely there to help them with women.

Final Thoughts

I treated him in the same way that I treated my other friends. There is no doubting how much of an effect Richard had on my life; there was what he showed me directly and there was what I learned through simply being around him.

Through growing up in guest house my conversational skills were fairly developed, but approaching women was all new to me. This was then a time when I could improve on what I had already developed.

Doing Comparisons Necessary Way

THERE is one comparison with others we should be making, for our gratitude, to grow in compassion, to train ourselves to see more like God, for our own good. And ultimately for others’ good too.

Have you noticed what happens when you compare yourself with those doing better than you? It has likely made you feel empty and envious. It has probably challenged your self-confidence and self-concept. It has made you less grateful for your life and what you have than you ought to feel.

Have you ever tried comparing with others in the opposite direction? – to compare with those down on their luck compared with you; those less fortunate; those who were born in and live in less materially rich regions of the world; those who have suffered disease and loss and addiction in their families.

When we compare with others we see doing better than us, we end up disappointed. When we compare ourselves with more favourable seasons of past, we end up gloomy. But when we compare with others who aren’t doing so well, we begin to feel two things: grateful for what we have, and we feel empathy for what they don’t have. We certainly shouldn’t feel superior, for the fortunes of life are fickle.

Two opportunities present for us as our awareness of our comparative blessedness increases:

1. Our gratitude blossoms into joy, because the more we engage in this way of seeing, the more we see the little things we have that others don’t. We enjoy these things more, and we even consider how we might spread the enjoyment we experience to others.

2. With empathy our character grows in compassion. We feel genuine sadness for what others don’t have, and we may begin to pray for them, and even provide for them, which we understand we need to do in dignifying ways.

Compare not with those who seem better off, but with those who are worse off.

Compare with those doing better and we feel envious, but compare with those undergoing hardship and we feel empathy.

Understanding Human Relationship

Human relations are complex and beautiful. Though people and their behavior is unpredictable yet they bring happiness most of the time in our life. We cherish the memories with our people and they certainly make our life worth living.

Our whole life directly or indirectly revolves around people from our birth till our last breath.

Human beings are the biggest source and contributor of energy, learning, affection, inspiration, recreation and communication for everyone. That’s why they are referred as “social beings”. Therefore, we can easily say that all our wants, needs, dreams and desires get fulfilled by people around us. Thus, we study, play, joke, talk, eat, work, ride, enjoy, party or go out with our friends, companions, colleagues, class mates, acquaintances, cousins, family. These people could subsequently become our teacher, mentor, guide, coach and philosopher at some point of time.

From times immemorial till this era of Millennium, nothing has really changed when talk about our social preferences. We are constantly engaging with people, thereby spending a significant amount of time with them on daily basis. And without any doubt, our “near and dear” ones are incredibly with us during our good and bad times. Further, let me take pride in saying that we celebrate all festivals, joyous moments, birthday celebrations enthusiastically with our lovely people. In short, their sheer presence during crisis situation provides us immense strength to fight any difficult situation or recover from the worst health complications. Thus, they motivate us to give our best even in the most stressful times. It sounds funny but true that even while dreaming, we are most of the time engaging with our people.

If people were so important to all of us, then why the hell do we condemn them or their behavior? Why do we get hurt and hurt them too? Why do we ridicule them by calling these very people complex creatures with unpredictable behavior? Why do we curse them or humiliate them?

To answer the above questions and as per my thought process, we should not generalize a behavior to conclude or form a perception from few unpleasant experiences, situations or interactions.

So, what do we do? The best we could do is to always analyse a situation through “occurrence test of reality” model. This test assesses a person and his character along with measuring his credibility by going through his past record while he had interacted with you some time in the past. Assuming, he has supported you more than fifty per cent of the time in the past. This percentage implies that he is definitely a well-wisher and only last few times, he has not been able to support you. And this change in his behavior last few times could be due to an uncontrolled circumstance at his end. This could also be due to his inability to do so on account of his changing priorities or commitments. So, this change could be a transient phase and might get over soon.

A matured person therefore could at times ignore or forget such a recent behavior than taking it personally and showing his resentment. Least he is expected to do is bitching about that person or feeling shattered with the changed behavior. To put it in a perspective, give this person a benefit of doubt once. And do remember, we as human beings do forget several things on lot of occasions.

Further, let us discuss about another issue observed in most of the relationships. Most often, as our relationship evolves, there is a whole lot of expectation burden surrounding it. As a result, this burden starts bothering our relationship, thus leading to numerous quarrels, misunderstandings and bitter feelings.

A sensible person should minimize his expectations as increasing expectations could turn beautiful relationship into unnecessary trouble. Further, please note reciprocation in any relationship is important but it should not create obstacles in a healthy relationship with boggling expectations.

Few important take away could be: Empathizing with your near and dear ones and extending our support unconditionally can work wonders thereby sowing seeds of a platonic relationship. Another take away is not reacting immediately and aggressively to hated arguments, nasty messages, sensitive points. Keeping it for another time could actually save our relationships from getting ruined for ever.

Further, there could be occasions when you continue to get perturbed by your near and dear ones changing behavior or you experienced his behavior has become negative towards you. In this case, the most preferred thing would be to speak candidly to the concerned person than keeping it within yourself and waiting for a later date in future.

Be precise, transparent and courageous to communicate your feelings. Feel free to elaborate as to how his changing behavior is affecting you.

As a rule, eliminate the scope of any negative feelings, traits and emotions in a relationship. It is not at all advisable being fake, dishonest, hypocrite, suspecting, being possessive, jealous in a healthy relationship.

Respect and value all your relationships. They are an integral part of our life. At the same time, let’s also accept that relationships could go through ups and downs of life. Every single day, you have to invest your time and positive energy for them to evolve and succeed. Being honest always helps in building a robust friendship.

Last but not the least. Remember relationships could become more giving, loving, interesting, fulfilling provided we value them, respect them and work towards nurturing them. Long lasting relationships should be truly progressive than turning regressive and suffocating with time. I love my Life and all the wonderful people who have made my life so beautiful. Relationships in my life have transformed my life miraculously and made my life more livable.

All About Trust And Respect

“Pay attention when people react with anger and hostility to your boundaries. You have found the edge where their respect for you ends.” – Unknown

CONDITIONAL love is the same as conditional respect. In response to safe boundaries some people respond by switching off their respect. Some people think that love and respect are dependent on how they feel. But effective relationships depend on love and respect if trust is to flow.

It’s important to have had some relationships where our boundaries have been treated with disdain. It teaches us the difference between relationships that work for both parties as opposed to those that work for just one person. It’s apparent straight away, that when relationships work for just one person, where there is respect just one way, the end of the relationship as it is needs to be nigh.

Those who disregard our boundaries tend then to get hostile when we enforce them.

There is another offender; one who oversteps the mark, continually forgetting where it was. Can we trust people who are repeat transgressors? Not beyond the realms of possibility, but there’s work to be done. It depends on the person’s heart.

It is good to have the courage to enforce boundaries and to reinforce them by removing trust when respect is denied. How else are they to learn? Why would we enable their bad behaviour? Why would we make that rod for our own back?

The biggest problem with people who will not respect our boundaries is the anxiety that increases in us as we interact with them. That is our heart telling us something: ‘I don’t feel safe here, with this person in this situation.’

So, pay attention when your wishes attract the ire of someone who wishes for you to trust them. Neither trust nor respect work one way. They are always reciprocal. Reasonable people respect boundaries.