Understanding About Loyalty

It hardly comes as a surprise that blood makes you related, but loyalty makes you family. Growing up, I always saw all of my relatives tear each other apart or taking sides instead of sticking together. And I am sure many of you can relate to this. So, I realized a long time ago I had to build my own circle.

Do you have relatives who you rarely speak with, or hardly ever see? Why is loyalty more important than family? Can you trust people who are involved firmly in your life? Do you have friends that understand your goals, and are there when you need them most?

As a child, you are taught that no matter what, you always have to choose your family first. But then, over the years, you realize that the people who afflict most of the pain on you are not the ones you do not know, but those you often trust the most. All blood does is make you related, but it is loyalty that makes a real family.

If I could give only one suggestion before going any further, it is always to trust your gut instincts. So, if you feel something is wrong, it usually is. And if I decided to talk about this subject today, it is because, throughout the years, I realize that my blood-related family was never there for me, but that a few friends were and still are.

The Concepts of Family
The idea of a family can be interpreted in so many different ways. It can go from your parents who gave you, life, to brothers and sisters, down to all other blood-related relatives. But it can also be defined as your close friends. It is the people in your life that inspire you to be better and usually care about what happens to you.

So, the real definition of family is considered ‘loyalty.’ These people take care of you when the chips are down. They are ready to fight at your side or when you can’t, and are prepared to take the heat if the world is against you. Your closest people, your most precious people are what the concept of family is all about.

And yes, it can be friends, comrades, blood-relations, in-laws, and the like. It is your choice, your life, as long as they are with you always. You and your relatives are connected by blood, but it does not always mean trust and love and loyalty. And at times, such feelings, when given, might not even be real.

Blood vs. Loyalty
The persons that comfort you when everyone else is bringing you down, the people who save your life, even at the risk of losing their own and the friends who stretch a helping hand to you are your family. Blood may make someone a relative, but it doesn’t mean that they care. A family is not always what you think.

So, the original definition of a family no longer applies today. You should never feel bad or have to explain why you choose loyalty over blood relatives at times. There is no need for excuses if you want to remove the people who do not treat you the way you deserve out of your life.

As a result, a real family includes friends, real friends, even if they are not related. They are the ones who stand by you when the rest of the world comes crumbling down. These people support you through your struggles and help lift you up. And they do not judge you or turn their backs on you, even if they may think you are a bit crazy or do not agree with you all the time.

A family is what You Make it
Therefore, just like loyalty, a family has to be like a rock. I never had the best father, brother or real loving relatives. There were only two relatives that counted for me in my life, and that was my mother, and my grandfather. The rest treated me like trash, drove me nuts and considered me as a total stranger after 30 years living around the globe.

While living in the USA, my wealth grew steadily, so my brother or aunt contacted me for help when having financial problems. I gladly helped, even if I did not hear from them for years. But then one day, I got into some struggle and needed aid, yet when called upon, none of my blood relatives ever responded.

So, just because you may be my relative does not mean you are my family. I was considered as the black sheep only because I dared to think outside the box. It is not acceptable for people to disappear when your life is not going their way, and then to reappear when you are doing the things they think are great. A family is what you make it, so choose wisely.

Fake Family and Friends
Some people claim to be one thing and are in reality another. When given a chance to stand up and show what they claimed to be, they run the other way or do the complete opposite. The persons I can count on in this world, I can total them on the one hand. It takes courage to be loyal!

“Fake friends are like shadows. They follow you when you walk in the sun, but leave you once you are in the dark.” – Unknown

A real family is a small group of individuals who fight with you when going through the darkness of life and love you no matter what. When the world turns against you, loyalty sticks by your side and sees you through life’s mistakes. And let’s not forget that these are the best people to celebrate existence with as well.

Loyalty Makes You Family
If you are like me, some people will be the most loyal friends you will have your entire life. Real family is made to build you up and not tear you down. They are there to support you in all you do, even if they do not always agree entirely with your choices.

So, if some people are always there and would go to the end of the world for you, it shows family. Blood does not play much importance, loyalty does. Just the act of being there and being loyal makes you part of what a family means.

And it is why loyalty plays a significant role. Do what is right! You do not want someone in your life just because you are related. But you want them because you have built a relationship on a stronger foundation, and that is something more significant than your family name.

My Final Word about Family and Loyalty
It is sad that disloyal family or friends will now miss out on all the good things that are happening in my life and all the future events that are about to take place. I have forgiven them, but I will never forget. Lesson learned!

So, do the same, create your own fantastic family that never fails to make sure your well-being is the priority. Build a circle of individuals that will not turn their back on you and would do anything you need as well as you doing the same for them. Those are the people you want in your life, and who are what you can call your family.

In the end, a family is not a title; it is loyalty, love, trust, respect, and relying on and knowing without a doubt that some people will be there for you. So blood might make you related, but it should not mean a thing to you. And it positively should not be defined as the only reason for a family.

Before Saying Goodbye

Having said our goodbyes, the car reversed out of the driveway, last waves were had, forward the wheels rolled down the road, before turning the corner and going out of view.

The loaned reality of sorrow struck once more. It won’t always be like this. I won’t always have the privilege of seeing this, of having had these visits, even though I know I take them for granted. Even though these events of interaction seem to be ongoing and never ending, one day – one day too soon – it will be all over.

The heart longs in gentle anguish when it ponders what it cannot control.

I can’t remember when I first had the vision, but I’ve had it so many times, and almost every time my parents leave our home.

As we stand there waving from the bottom of the driveway, I look at my son, just as I used to look at my daughters who are all now grown up, and wonder what he’s thinking. As my parents’ car disappears from view, as he runs back to me from the corner, and we make our slow walk back to the front door, God causes me to reflect on the eternity in that moment.

What happens routinely we’re meant to take for granted.

It would be so draining on our energy levels if we were to be so highly attuned to our emotions all the time. In this way, we are saved from emotional exhaustion, but we also pay for our having taken these things for granted when we experience loss. And that is okay. Provided we understand that loss brings grief and grief means pain, and this pain we bear, because it is love’s fault. And how can we criticise love?

My parents won’t be around forever. I know that. I mourn that fact, even now, still while they’re alive. What I’m granted is the precious gift of vision that may inevitably make their passing more palatable when that time comes. I am enamoured of the concept of life and death because, for example, what my parents mean to me, that I cannot keep them forever. I think of any family member in the same way.

It is good that we make the most of missing our loved ones before they’re gone.

This way we prepare ourselves for the inevitable; for that time ahead when they do actually go. When we miss them now we don’t tend to put off as much of what might never otherwise come to pass. We take action now, while we can.

We never know when life will change. Immeasurably. Irrevocably.

Heart Full Of Acceptance

When I’m vulnerable my psychology sits atop a knife’s edge; I either progress to repentance or topple into resentment. And it’s people who just happen to benefit or pay.

I am as prone to rejection as the next person, and I don’t buy it when people say they aren’t. There are people who exist in a safe bubble of acceptance which says even more about the power of rejection in their lives.

The continuum of acceptance and rejection is possibly the most powerful force. And it all begins in the mind; a mind responding to what the heart feels.

I can tell you that when I’ve felt most vulnerable, I have been most susceptible to rejecting others. When I’ve felt rejected, I’ve tended to respond by rejecting. When I’ve felt accepted, the vulnerable feelings vanish, and acceptance is easy. There is one poignant example where this is rife: in those who have influence over me; a power I have given them. I could be much less susceptible to a person’s rejection if they have no influence on me or power over me, but as soon as they do I have to admit susceptibility. I do not consider those I serve as those who have influence on me or power over me.

It’s those I look up to who I perceive don’t accept me who I’m liable to reject in response to their rejection.

The mind fights to be accepted, and the heart battles for love. Where there is acceptance and feelings of love, there is safety and wellbeing.

Acknowledge the drive for acceptance in others. Accept everyone as they are and experience less rejection.

All About Loneliness

THEY say that it is what we lack that compels us to appreciate and go after our purpose. Of course, that’s it. Wherever we’re fulfilled there is no need to search a thing out.

Meaning in life comes from absence – when the void becomes too much and must be filled. If a lack of meaning does not despair us, then absence creates a vacuum, and we’re impelled to address the shortfall. Meaning and purpose flood in.

In relational beings, loneliness in one and another makes two. Each person brings their paucity to the relationship. It is hoped that each has something to give. If both have only the capacity to take, each will drive the other far away. If one takes and one gives, it works for a time, but if in giving the person also receives there is a happy medium. It can be sustained. Relationships are all about balancing transactions.

Loneliness makes two wherever currencies of lack are complementary. One brings ‘this’, the other brings ‘that’, and with ‘this’ and ‘that’ everyone’s happy.

Life is inherently about lack. Lack is not a bad thing. It simply lets us know what we crave and must go after. It makes us hunters and gatherers. There’s nothing wrong with lacking something, especially as we consider a rule of life is that everyone lacks something.

Let there be gratitude for this fact: my lack is not any worse or better than your lack is. It is just different. You are not better than me, nor am I better than you. We are simply different. Yet we subscribe to the lie that life is full of ranking.

My lack is designed to be completed in ways that only someone else can fill. And another’s lack will depend on me to fill it. We are not better because we fill. We are not worse because we lack.

Life is pretty simple. We need each other.